Ok. I realize that what I'm posting may shock some of you and may even be a little controversial, but I'm dedicating this blog to all those mothers that have "lost it" in front of their children and have been made to feel like they are an abnormal, temperamental and/ or a failure at there God given destiny of motherhood. Here's me being real to real mothers.
The story goes:
My son Justice and I staying home from school and work due to neither one of us not feeling well. It had been a rough couple of months, as far as health had been concerned, for me. I had been tired, ill, and just simply ready to feel better. Justice had strep throat and I had pneumonia. Our day had started together making a warm breakfast and watching Toy Story. I gave him a cup I bought for him when Canaan and Haniyah were born. Which had his initial "J" on it, and could store a little snack in the bottom. He loved it and stuff marshmallows in it. We had played, laughed and napped together. Our day couldn't have been any better if we were feeling well.
Zach got home with Canaan and Haniyah and all was still well. It came time to go to bed and at this point all emotions are up in the air. There is no telling what will happen in a split second when putting on P.J.'s. As I'm walking on egg shells with all my children I'm soaking in the success in tucking them all in their own bed.
As I'm tip toeing to my soft, warm bed, I hear a cry out, "I want milk in my "J" cup! (Side note: The "J" cup leaks!) As I'm trying to explain to him why we can't put milk in the "J"cup he seemed to have understood. Again, I'm on my way to my bed which is looking even more inviting because I almost got caught in a battle.
"BANG!" Is what I heard behind me. The "J" cup was thrown into the floor by a sick and angry toddler. Water was everywhere and the top of the cup laying beside the bottom. I slowly pick up the cup, I'm Ok, I patiently put the cup together and start to talk to Justice and then I hear two more children instantaneously cry out and I quickly become overwhelmed with the thought of "I can't do this". I'm feeling tired, sick and incompetent to deal with three screaming children. I then burst into a panic moment and in a split second I throw the "J" cup and also throw out "F***!" Yes! I did! I said, "THE WORD" in front of my children. It's then I hear Zach coming down the hall. My thoughts were, "Where in the H*** have you been?" (He was justly busy preparing milk for one of our other children). It was then Justice starts laughing and said, "Thank you mommy. You have just made me understand how much pressure your under trying to please three toddlers at bed time." NO! I'm sorry I lied. He starts screaming and yelling, "MOMMY BROKE MY "J" CUP! DADDY, DADDY, DADDY! MOMMY BROKE MY "J" CUP!"
It was then I realized that simple act of frustration and anger just ruined the whole day. He will not remember the great day that we had but he will remember that mommy broke, "...my J cup." I then apologize and start to try to explain to him that I'm not mad at him, but mommy got caught up feeling...I stopped, because he didn't care any more what mommy thought or why mommy threw his cup, he just knew he wanted daddy.
As I start picking up the pieces daddy comes in and saves the day. He is able to explain anything to a 4yr old to where they understand. So. I apologized again and tuck the kids. Zach and I converse after the fact, and he simply laughs at me and my flaws. We came to the conclusion our children didn't hear the "F" bomb due to the cup being thrown out the door, through the sound of it shattering against the hall wall and the shock of mommy's burst of bi-polar-ism.
I looked for three days for that cup that I bought 3 years ago and found it at the store that I bought it at and it was the last "J" cup left. I bring it home and explain to Justice I found it and there being no more left. He said, "Mommy I think it needs to go in the cabinet, I don't want it broke."
I never recommend cursing in front of your children and I don't make it apart of my life, but I wanted to share my story to encourage you that even though your children may not forget, they will forgive and you, you are a wonderful mother. You may lose it every so often , but God he gave you your children because he knew you can be the best mommy for them.
You can later laugh at your mishaps just as we do every time we open Justice's door and feel the large dent in the knob that was obviously hit by the infamous "J" cup.
YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER! And you know what? So am I. I love my children so very much and they know it. You can do it! And so can I! HAPPY MOTHERING!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
What's New
Ok. So. We have recently visited Honduras to find our selves going back in October. We are going for a month and taking our children to see what life has in store for us in the future.
I find this "missions thing" is kinda like deciding to have children. On one hand it is really easy to decide to have children ( for us anyway ). We love kids and love the thought of having a large family with many differences among each other, Love to love our children and love the thought of what they may bring to the kingdom. On the other hand it's hard...knowing all the responsiblities that may be added, on top of the resposibilities we already have. But yet again, it's always something we've (as a couple)wanted. Pro's way out way the con's. And either way you can almost never fail.
Either way you learn...you grow...your stretched...those around you grow and stretch and more than ever before we REALLY depend on the provision of the Lord. I alway thought I knew what it ment, until I've approached this moment in life. Neither Zach nor I have jobs (which is really something very unexpencted). Usually I would be very nervous and probably feeling a bit unsettled, but I don't. I feel more at peace now in my life than I've ever felt. There are a lot of things to do to get prepaired to go and a lot of emotions that flood me at times all in which get a little overwhelming, but by the revelation that a good friend of mine just shared with me, the overwhelmingness is due to the desire to have everything thing "just right". Which then reminded me that, "I am not in control!" because if I was we wouldn't be were we are now. We wouldn't be without jobs and selling everything we have. But in saying that the decision to go back would have been a lot harder, which in all may have changed the whole course of where our life is going with Jesus in control. Thank you JESUS! Anyway I guess I said all that to say this, Please pray for us as we start a new journey in our lives and please pray for the hearts and minds of those around us.
And that's what's on my mind today. Thanks for reading my mind.
Erica Standridge : )
I find this "missions thing" is kinda like deciding to have children. On one hand it is really easy to decide to have children ( for us anyway ). We love kids and love the thought of having a large family with many differences among each other, Love to love our children and love the thought of what they may bring to the kingdom. On the other hand it's hard...knowing all the responsiblities that may be added, on top of the resposibilities we already have. But yet again, it's always something we've (as a couple)wanted. Pro's way out way the con's. And either way you can almost never fail.
Either way you learn...you grow...your stretched...those around you grow and stretch and more than ever before we REALLY depend on the provision of the Lord. I alway thought I knew what it ment, until I've approached this moment in life. Neither Zach nor I have jobs (which is really something very unexpencted). Usually I would be very nervous and probably feeling a bit unsettled, but I don't. I feel more at peace now in my life than I've ever felt. There are a lot of things to do to get prepaired to go and a lot of emotions that flood me at times all in which get a little overwhelming, but by the revelation that a good friend of mine just shared with me, the overwhelmingness is due to the desire to have everything thing "just right". Which then reminded me that, "I am not in control!" because if I was we wouldn't be were we are now. We wouldn't be without jobs and selling everything we have. But in saying that the decision to go back would have been a lot harder, which in all may have changed the whole course of where our life is going with Jesus in control. Thank you JESUS! Anyway I guess I said all that to say this, Please pray for us as we start a new journey in our lives and please pray for the hearts and minds of those around us.
And that's what's on my mind today. Thanks for reading my mind.
Erica Standridge : )
Friday, March 18, 2011
Since Childhood
When I was a child between the ages of five and seven the Lord aloud me to experience a vision. In case you are unsure of what a vision is, well, it's almost like a dream, but you aren't sleeping. In this vision I played an active roll that changed my life forever. It's almost like stepping out of reality and living in a dream for a moment. I almost felt at that time the vision was more real than the life I was actually living.
In this dream I was thrusted into a third world country and I knew it as home. I could feel the warm air with a slight breeze. I could smell the dust in the air and feel the warmth of the sun. It was so beautiful. Not in a paradise kind'a way. It was just simply beautiful.
After I was able to take in all the senses I started walking. I was lead to a ally way, dirty, wet, and lonely. I found there a child and I picked this child up. I immediately new that this child was mine. The child wasn't mine biologically, but the child was mine, a gift the Lord gave me. As I held this child I lifted my head to find more in the ally, more of my own children. More children that I was suppose to care for. I felt the Lord speaking to me and telling me that this will be what I am to do when I get older. The only third world country that I knew of was Africa and the only people that I knew that took care of children outside of parents were doctors.
So I came to the conclusion that I was going to be a doctor in Africa. I told this wonderful news to everyone. I remember the responses that received, but I was not the least bit surprised. I was told that, "You can be a doctor here and make more money". "Why do you want to do that it's not safe." I could see the thoughts they were thinking, "She will grow out of this." I was not upset at all. I had the, "You'll see". Attitude. I wasn't rebellious about it, just "matter-of-fact".
I didn't go on my first mission trip until I was 15 years old, and it was better than I had expected it would be. My first country was Mexico and it will always be my first love (when it comes to mission trips). I went to Mexico a few times and every time it was better and better. I then decided to take a trip in my own country and was completely amazed and how much our country needs healing and needs the goodness of God.
I took a leisure trip to Europe and realized that our country isn't the most sinful (outwardly).
In the mean time my father caught the "mission bug". He decided that he would do something that he didn't think he would do. He left and went to Honduras on a mission trip. He fell in love with the people there and came home and has not been able to forget. When you go, you can't forget. You can't forget the Love, the people, the kids, the women, the men, the atmosphere, the miracles...I could go on and on.
The Lord spoke to me about 7 years ago and told me to put a hold on mission for three years. In that three years I met my husband and we married. We now have three beautiful children. All of whom are precious gifts from the Lord that surprise us daily. He shares the same passion as I do. He didn't always have this passion, but it's catchy. It's contagious. He has been on a few missions to Nicaragua, Venezuela and Peru. We both share the desire to minister in Latino nations.
We will, one day, go and be at home. We will be at home not only with our natural children, but with the other children the Lord will give to us. The vision continues since childhood and it will NEVER be quenched until it is fulfilled.
In this dream I was thrusted into a third world country and I knew it as home. I could feel the warm air with a slight breeze. I could smell the dust in the air and feel the warmth of the sun. It was so beautiful. Not in a paradise kind'a way. It was just simply beautiful.
After I was able to take in all the senses I started walking. I was lead to a ally way, dirty, wet, and lonely. I found there a child and I picked this child up. I immediately new that this child was mine. The child wasn't mine biologically, but the child was mine, a gift the Lord gave me. As I held this child I lifted my head to find more in the ally, more of my own children. More children that I was suppose to care for. I felt the Lord speaking to me and telling me that this will be what I am to do when I get older. The only third world country that I knew of was Africa and the only people that I knew that took care of children outside of parents were doctors.
So I came to the conclusion that I was going to be a doctor in Africa. I told this wonderful news to everyone. I remember the responses that received, but I was not the least bit surprised. I was told that, "You can be a doctor here and make more money". "Why do you want to do that it's not safe." I could see the thoughts they were thinking, "She will grow out of this." I was not upset at all. I had the, "You'll see". Attitude. I wasn't rebellious about it, just "matter-of-fact".
I didn't go on my first mission trip until I was 15 years old, and it was better than I had expected it would be. My first country was Mexico and it will always be my first love (when it comes to mission trips). I went to Mexico a few times and every time it was better and better. I then decided to take a trip in my own country and was completely amazed and how much our country needs healing and needs the goodness of God.
I took a leisure trip to Europe and realized that our country isn't the most sinful (outwardly).
In the mean time my father caught the "mission bug". He decided that he would do something that he didn't think he would do. He left and went to Honduras on a mission trip. He fell in love with the people there and came home and has not been able to forget. When you go, you can't forget. You can't forget the Love, the people, the kids, the women, the men, the atmosphere, the miracles...I could go on and on.
The Lord spoke to me about 7 years ago and told me to put a hold on mission for three years. In that three years I met my husband and we married. We now have three beautiful children. All of whom are precious gifts from the Lord that surprise us daily. He shares the same passion as I do. He didn't always have this passion, but it's catchy. It's contagious. He has been on a few missions to Nicaragua, Venezuela and Peru. We both share the desire to minister in Latino nations.
We will, one day, go and be at home. We will be at home not only with our natural children, but with the other children the Lord will give to us. The vision continues since childhood and it will NEVER be quenched until it is fulfilled.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
My First Blog
Hi,
I am a newbie at this blogging business and I'm trying it out for the first time today. I look forward adding some more info., pictures and looking forward to learning my way around this site and talking to ya'll later. You will never hear me say "Ya'll", but it just seemed like the right thing to add. : )
I am a newbie at this blogging business and I'm trying it out for the first time today. I look forward adding some more info., pictures and looking forward to learning my way around this site and talking to ya'll later. You will never hear me say "Ya'll", but it just seemed like the right thing to add. : )
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